I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
