I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
