You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
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