just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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