We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
