Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
