3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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