And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
