If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
