but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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