I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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