this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
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a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
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Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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