But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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