Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
