Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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