I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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