The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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