Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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