she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
