that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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