I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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