Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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