Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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