They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
