Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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