So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
