is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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