I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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