when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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