I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
