Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
