i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
