and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
