Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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