We're like a lot better than the average bears
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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