all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Of course I have a pirate flag
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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