Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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