I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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