Christians are straight up FREAKS
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's like iHOP with fire
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
