I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
