its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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