Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
