u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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