I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
