oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
