Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
