Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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