we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
lol hangovers are for mortals.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
