my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
