She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize