Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
