My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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