why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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