and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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