Umm I'm too high to move.
I bet he comes in French.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
