Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
