We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
