marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
