I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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