please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Randomize
