i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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