Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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