R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
